Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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