Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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