Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize