I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize