We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
