My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
