were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize