umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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