so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize