he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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