this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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