dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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