Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize