the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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