alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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