I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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