you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize