I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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