have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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