i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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