Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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