woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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