My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I stole a fireplace last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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