Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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