As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
After tacos, we're chasing women.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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