you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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