He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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