a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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