You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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