so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
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