we have pet lesbian snakes
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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