Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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