btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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