Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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