Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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