Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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