when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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