I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
birth control should be required to get into college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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