Umm I'm too high to move.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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