I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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