he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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