He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
