12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize