the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize