my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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