....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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