I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize