I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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