I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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