The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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