You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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