First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize