Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize